Sounds easy enough. In fact, most people think they do love themselves and love all that they stand for, until their perspectives and positions are challenged by someone or something perceived as more “together.” When that happens, doubt sets in and we start measuring ourselves against the people we think we want to be like. We try to fit in or imitate what is working for them and forget about who we are and what we stand for. Inevitably, we come to stand for what has the least amount of friction – what seems to work easiest for those we consider “complete.”
That is not self love, but rather retreat.
When in pursuit of your passion, the first thing you must do is love who you are and what you stand for. This entails being prepared to defend your values and stand tall in their honor, even when it seems like the masses are against you. (by the way, the masses are never really against you).
As your grow to truly love yourself, you will discover elements that make you distinctive. As you embrace these differences and find ways to apply them in your life, you will develop a clear definition on what is, and what isn’t, negotiable. Expect resistance! There will people that are offended by your point of view, or feel you are irresponsible and your perspectives are not well thought out. That is okay! In fact, if everyone thinks what you are saying is a grand idea, it’s probably not. It’s probably a safe idea, and it probably won’t plunge you into the success that you are seeking but into just another average existence – where every one else is already falsely content to be.
Safe is boring.
If boring isn’t reason enough to avoid being safe, another good one is that safe is also not really that safe. How secure can you be when there are a thousand you’s that you can be replaced with? If you are like everyone else, why would anyone choose you? The value of your individuality, of your uniqueness, of your commitment to what you stand for should be clear now. You have all the reason you need to embrace you and your ideas and give all you reasonably can to their success.
Consider the iPod. It is an Mp3 player, but it is one of the best. So much so that many people call all Mp3 players, “iPods.” When you go into Best Buy, the section where you find Mp3 players has a huge sign hanging over it that says “iPods & Mp3 Players.” The iPod didn’t get to be that large by being average, or cheap or blending in. It got there by being great. People can say it is over-priced all they like, by making a high quality, easy to use product, “iPod” became synonymous with “Mp3 Player.” Just think about that for a moment: “Subway” is not synonymous with “sandwich.” ”Coach” is not synonymous with “handbag.” Yet when you say Mp3 player, an iPod is likely what comes to mind.
People read my blog and think I am crazy. I don’t mind. Lot’s of people do not agree with the things I say here. I realize that I challenge the traditional perspectives that say unhappy at work and barely at home are okay. That a reasonable salary is good enough. I challenge the thinking that suggests that adapting to corporate culture is the only way to survive. I realize that this makes people uncomfortable. But I am finally in a place where I recognize the value in my perspective and I am not afraid or ashamed to share it. Nor am I afraid to make decisions in my own life to live it.
It’s because I have embraced my values and I love them and am prepared to stand behind them…
Even when people think I am nuts for saying I might quit my day job to be a full time bartender.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
i heart you for this post.
i tell people all the time, i’ve avoided corporate life for a reason. i did that once, and never again if i can help it. only when i start my publishing company do i plan on being cooped up in an office for half of my day. lol. and even then, not if i can help it…
hand claps, toe taps, and mad dap for this one.
ciao!
There are worse things in life than being a fulltime bartender. I think that’s a pretty cool gig, actually. If I could stand people more I might consider it myself. As it stands, I’d be more likely to throw a drink in someone’s face than make it LOL
Now, loving myself? Sheesh… that’s a tall order. But I’m down for it. I have YEARS of self-hate to overcome but I think I’m already down this road to self-love, and have been since the day I gave up trying to have “white girl hair” and accepted that face that looks back at me in the mirror as a pretty one. Just gotta work on personality, morals, ideals and on what’s going on from the neck down now LOL
sometimes one has to believe alone in what one believes in. the way i look at it money (probably a year or two of salary) is a small price to pay in order to pursue a sincere dream. if worse comes to worse and it doesn’t work out your credentials and experience will get you back into a corporate office if you so choose. I say you got a hell of a back up plan if you choose not to pursue your dreams, so go for it.. piece and blessings.
“until their perspectives and positions are challenged by someone or something perceived as more “together.” When that happens, doubt sets in and we start measuring ourselves against the people we think we want to be like.”
Yup.
Fortunately with Twitter and FB, it is very easy to see after awhile that being like ‘her’ or ‘them’ is not really all it’s cracked up to be.
I love this post. We all have our insecurities and flaws, but we also have great gifts to offer the world once we own what we’ve already been blessed with. This is not to say we can’t learn from other people. We should. Sometimes it’s what to do. Sometimes, it’s what not to do! But trying to be them is just a waste of time when we already have something unique to contribute.
BAM! Another sensible thought in a world full of BS(and I ain’t talkin degrees)